Thanksgiving 2021
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It runs neck-and-neck with another favorite, the Fourth of July, which I like because it is in the summer, and I love the summer. But when autumn comes and Halloween unexpectedly slips by, I look ahead to the holiday season and remember: Yes, Thanksgiving is the best. For Americans, I think Thanksgiving is a general favorite — even among the Christmas freaks there is an understanding that the relaxed, calm spirit of Thanksgiving makes it, if not the best holiday, at least a sentimental second.
I like relaxed holidays. Those with fewer expectations, those relatively apart from life’s worries. Which is the meaning of the word holiday after all. There is a lot of cooking to be be done on Thanksgiving, but you can dodge that stress by picking up prepared food somewhere (and not only is that acceptable, but I encourage it, for the sake of keeping the day peaceful). For those who like the challenge of cooking, no holiday offers more opportunity and challenge. And there is no holiday where more people want to pitch in. Everyone brings a dish if asked, or at least a bottle of wine — and who is disappointed with a bottle of wine? Participation is encouraged, though all you need bring is yourself. Like Jesus’ multiplication of the loaves, it seems that there is always enough.
But what makes Thanksgiving stand out among the holidays, beyond the food (and food is always hard to get beyond) is that it is the holiday whose premise is not about yourself, but about others. The only other holiday that emphasizes others over the self so distinctly is Easter, and Easter’s theology is much more complicated. Thanksgiving’s premise is simple: You didn’t create or earn everything you have. Being thankful is about acknowledging that much has been given to you, without your deserving or even asking for it. And you cannot be thankful without acknowledging that your life is not all about you.
Certain emotions tend to cancel others out. It is, for instance, difficult to feel anger and fear at the same time. Love and disgust tend not to exist together. And it is very hard to be thankful, truly thankful, and think about yourself first.
Our society is rarely concerned about thanksgiving. Instead we are told to find our own passion, be the star of our own movie, be all we can be. Always, the story is about ourselves. Thanksgiving reverses this overwhelming trend, taking the ego off the stage and putting the things we are thankful for in its place. We can’t binge on Black Friday sales while thinking of others. We can’t flaunt wealth while putting others first. We certainly can’t post self-righteous opinions on Twitter while appreciating what we have received.
This is why we need Thanksgiving. To be grateful for what we have is to step off our own stage and acknowledge that life isn’t about us. The thankful person is a participant in life, but not the hero. It is a paradox that the greatest joy in life comes from giving ourselves away to others, and acknowledging that the credit for so much of what we are belongs to others. Even for the greatest among us, this is true.
For me, the key to Thanksgiving is the acknowledgment that good is independent of us, and comes from God. As long as we cling to the delusion that we make ourselves good, we will be unhappy. Happiness is rooted in truth, and the truth is that goodness is given to us as a gift. It is not something we provide for ourselves.
Being thankful is the best first step to allowing others, and then eventually God, to be the source of goodness in our lives. Our own supply of goodness is limited. But there is an infinite source outside ourselves, if we are brave enough, and grateful enough, to accept it.
