From the transcripts of the U.S. Senate

Sen. Lisa Murkowski explains why the sky is not blue.

"Yes, the sky does appear to be blue. And it is true that it is very nearly blue. In fact, to many on the opposite side of the aisle, it is indistinguishable from blue. But I say to you, fellow Senators, that the sky does not rise to the level of CONSTITUTIONAL BLUENESS...."

Sen. Susan Collins on why your right hand is not on the right.

"Now, it may appear that the right hand, being on the same side as the right foot and right ear, must be on the right. But look in the mirror. What hand moves in the mirror when you move your right hand? The left one! Therefore, we do not have sufficient evidence to say the right hand is on the right..."

Sen. Lamar Alexander, on why bears do not sh*t in the woods.

"Have you ever seen a bear sh*t in the woods? You say you have? Where was the bear squatting? In the grass, you say. I submit to you, my colleagues, that A BEAR SH*TS IN THE GRASS, not in the woods..."

Sen. Mitch McConnell, on evidence brought against the President.

"All we have heard against the President is facts. But do facts equal the truth? Hardly. Consider this. The case against the President could be a HOAX. A HOAX is a fact. Since a hoax is composed of facts, facts could prove a hoax just as much as they could prove the truth. So couldn't it be that the facts prove a HOAX? Hoax, fact, it's all the same when you get to the bottom of it. DON'T LET THE FACTS FOOL YOU. These facts prove a hoax just as other facts prove the truth. And now, I yield the remainder of my time to Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness..."