As we all know, last Christmas season Black & Decker aggressively promoted its Snake Light, a flashlight with a flexible barrel that makes it perfect for every kind of repair work in darkness. America responded with the heartfelt generosity that only Americans can pour forth, and now every home in the country has a closet containing an unopened box with a Snake Light in it.
This year, Stanley Company answered the challenge of the Snake light, unveiling the Tripod Light. This latest indispensible item is a flashlight with legs. Now, rather than having your light snaked, you can enjoy it perched atop three cantilevered aluminum tubes. One wonders what discoveries Sir Issac Newton might have made about the properties of light had he such a miraculous light source, instead of the sorry sunlight he unjustly contended with.
I predict that next year, Black & Decker will respond to this aggression with the Tripod Snake, a combination of the two with all the benefits of both, and more.
I further predict that in January 2008 Black & Decker with withdraw the Tripod Snake from the general market, triple its list price, and announce that the Tripod Snake will be introduced into the medical market for gastroenterological and gynecological applications. It will also be wildly popular in the porn film industry.
My suggestion is that you adjust your financial investments accordingly.